How can you work with your partner without killing each other?

I'm not going to lie, I've seen some examples of this going horribly wrong.

In two separate restaurants I've worked in, there have been couples running the restaurant. One a chef, the other front of house, and I saw some huge domestics. 

Nothing better than full on shouting matches during service in front of customers. Me, being an apprentice, would just hide in the corner and do my job and try and ignore them.

A lot of the time it comes down to the personalities involved. Chef's can be egotistical douchebags, and front of house can get stressed out from the demands of customers, lack of staff and a million other things. Throw strong emotions into a high stress environment, and it's a recipe for disaster. 

But it's not just a restaurant I've seen this blow up in. Office environments can be just as bad. 

I've been working with my wife making knives for over a year now, and we've never had a fight about work. We work all day together, walk back to the house, and spend the rest of the day together. We're pretty much around each other 24/7. And I couldn't be happier.  

So what's the secret?

I wouldn't call it a secret, but I trust her to be smart and capable enough to do her job, I also know she'll ask if she's not sure about something, as I will to her in reverse. 

I know myself, and I know her. My attention to detail with things like admin is lacking, I get impatient and dyslexic, and skip small details she just wouldn't. We set out our duties early on, and I trust her to  be able to do them without me poking my nose in. 

The biggest thing is about winning. There are no winners or losers, it's about getting the job done, and doing it well. Leave the egos at the door, trust your partner to get the job done well, and if you really need to fight about something, don't do it in front of your 2nd year apprentice and a restaurant full of people. 

Maintain good communication skills and show the same amount of respect to one another as you would if it were colleagues in a restaurant or an office. You're far less likely to censor your responses in a home environment, so frustration and stress are much more visible on the day to day communications. It's important to remember that you are on the same team and working for the same goals. Respect, communication and appreciation are key to success.